Dear Aredhel

Dear Aredhel,

I have not written to you for a long time. I hope you are well. I am well and so are Curufin and Huan. As you probably know, I live on Himlad now. It is a nice land, not least for hunting, and I will invite you for a visit if you want me to. And yet I am not sure you do though, seeing as we parted a long time ago and haven't spoken since. I'm sorry for what I said then about your father and your brothers and the kingship issue. I don't know if you can understand me, but I do hope you understand that I never blamed you for it. You are your father's daughter, but I know better than to think you thirst for the crown of the High-King.

This is me being humble, Aredhel. I want us to rekindle our friendship. I will not bore you with a long letter, especially not before I know whether you hate me or not.

Eagerly waiting for a reply,

Celegorm


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Dear Aredhel,

I have not written to you for a long time. To be fair, you haven't written anything to me either. I'm not mad at you anymore. Actually I am sorry. I'm sorry for what I said and I did not mean to insult you. I'm still not happy with the situation, as I'm sure you understand, seeing what has become of the House of Fëanor. But I have learnt to accept it. I know I can make up for everything and fix everything even without the crown. You're probably laughing at me, but please don't burn this letter before you truly consider this apology.

Waiting for your reply,

Celegorm


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Dear Aredhel,

I have not written you a letter for a long time. Or rather, I have written, but I haven't sent them. They all seemed so trivial. I did not know what to say and I still don't, but this letter I will definitely send.

The point is, I am sorry and want to apologize. I said things I should not have said, things I should have put differently. I do not blame you for any of what has happened. I would explain, but you know I'm no good with writing eloquent letters. Can you forgive me? I now live on Himlad with Curufin. If you want to, you could come visit. We could still be friends, right? I have learnt so much about the world here in Beleriand, about animals and people, about how different everything is. To think that we were so "wise" in Valinor when we knew nothing about what was out here! And yet I find myself thinking back to our lives before.

I miss you, Aredhel, and I want to be your friend again. Do you remember when we used to be together in Valinor? There's so much I want to talk about with you again, and I swear this time I won't say anything stupid or insensitive about you or your father. I'm no longer clinging to silly ideas about getting back the kingship to my family: I know now that the only thing truly important is defeating Morgoth by whatever means and the protection of one's family. Even though you are only my half-cousin and we haven't met for ages, you are my family and one very dear to me. When I say I miss you, I mean it, and I hope you see it. Please write back, so I will know whether I should keep on missing or just erase you from my memories.

I really don't think I could erase you though.

Celegorm


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Dear Aredhel,

I tried sending you a letter, but apparently you never got it, because I sent it to where I though you were, but you weren't there. I still don't know if this letter will reach you either, but I do hope so. I hope that says something about how much I want to reach you. I wanted to tell you what a fool I've been. I've been wanting to tell it to you for such a long time, but when I finally try to do it, you're not there. I wish you would have left an adress to your brother or something, but both you and Turgon seem to have disappeared long ago. You went with him, I guess, but I wish you would have at least told me. Even if it was in the form of "Celegorm, I'm going to Wherever-Place and I never want to see your face again". Or did you escape to avoid me? I hope not. I miss you and want us to be friends again.

I miss you so much. I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell it to you. If you don't want me to come visit you, just know that you will always be welcome to Himlad. We used to have a good time together before everything went wrong and we started misunderstanding each other and our families started fighting and I said all those stupid things.

Just so you know, if this letter doesn't reach you either, this will probably be the last time I write you. So please, write back! Suck up your pride for once like I did. Write me, just so I know you have actually read this. I am sick of not knowing. Or make somebody else write it -- hell if I care!

Celegorm


P.S. I am sorry I was blunt. But please, just write back so I'll know. Because I actually do miss you, Aredhel.
Love,
C.


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Dear Aredhel,

I already have a folder of letters I didn't end up sending to you, and this one is just going to go in that folder. I don't know why I write this, knowing that you'll never read this (unless you come back to Himlad and I can give them to you). It's so stupid. I always invited you to come to Himlad, but when you came I couldn't be there for you.

I've been looking for you since I heard you had been here. I miss you. I have missed you for so long that the missing is just a dull pain in the heart, an old warwound that I no longer mind but which never heals. I miss you, damn it. I miss you and I hate how I can't do anything about it or get you back, and I just keep worrying about you!

Come home!

I mean come to Himlad. I would let you stay forever, if you wanted that

Love always,

Celegorm


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Dear Aredhel,

You know I would have kept you safer than anyone else.

Turgon, when you read this, have them lay white poppies for her and tell her they are from me.

Celegorm.